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Ladies contrary to what some of you may believe, men are very smart. Unlike many of us, they use rational to make their decisions instead of sheer emotions. Don’t believe me? Think about the last time you tried to get a man to see things from your point of view. How did that work out for you? If you’re willing to be honest, it probably left you emotionally drained. More than likely you probably left him frustrated as he spent 30 minutes listening to you rant, yet still had no clue as to what it was even all about! Ladies the golden rule here is: Men respond much better to logic & practicality than emotions.

Not to say that a man can’t respect & even appreciate the beauty in your emotions, but men realize something many women don’t: Effective and powerful decisions cannot be based solely on emotions. Emotions are temporary! Hence, the reason you can love him so much one minute and the next not even stand him.

So how do you fix this dreaded gap of ineffective communication? Well, I’ll start by saying this: stop wasting your time explaining. Remember, men are very smart. Understand a man already knows what he did or didn’t do because his actions (lack of therefore) were a conscious & personal choice for him. Trust me ladies when I tell you this: when you truly matter to a man, he will automatically take into account how his actions will effect the BOTH of you. So again, why are you communicating with him as if he’s a child and not a conscious adult? Could it be that you don’t want to ask the real question? Is this thing even mutual?

I get it! A woman dating can seem daunting and even a bit scary at times. The risk of wasted time, efforts and energy. Oh, and who wants to open up and potentially be vulnerable? Yikes! However, ladies, it doesn’t have to be. Dating can actually be quite enjoyable once you realize how to tap into the logic of dating. There are ways you can proactively protect yourself instead of reactively doing damage control in the end.

Now say goodbye to the headaches & heartbreaks in 3 steps:

1.   You are not on the level “you think” you are.

Ladies, ladies, LADIES, how many times have you met a man, married him and planned your entire lives together by the end of the first date?! You must STOP creating these one sided relationships in your head from day one. Here you’ve allowed sheer emotion to dictate something that isn’t logical or even likely to be feasible in the long run. Please also understand sex & charming words alone DO NOT make him your man by default! Take it slow. Enjoy the process of dating. You’re in no rush to make it down the aisle. Dating is the time for you to figure out your likes, dislikes and everything in between. Enjoy the journey.

2. He’s just not that into you! Free Game 101: Yes, some men can & will flirt with you, spend time with you, & may even genuinely enjoy your company, AND still not want to commit to you romantically. Again, men are logical—not emotional ladies. A man wants a woman who he knows will bring peace & balance to his life. Just as we desire a man to bring love, security, & stability into ours. Men are direct so stop assuming and just ask. Want to know what is his purpose with you? Ask. Is he even available and open to a relationship with you? Ask. Most men will be honest if you just ask. So let’s stop falling all over the basics and learn to be discerning ladies.

3. He blatantly just doesn’t care because, wait for it, YOU don’t. Say what?! Let me break this down. See when you ALLOW a man to treat you any type of way and you’re cool with it, you indirectly communicate this message to him. Men protect what they value. Now think about it. Why would he want to take you seriously when you refuse to even value yourself? Standards aren’t just something you say you have, yet throw by the wayside at the first sight of a man’s attention. Men respect women who first respect themselves and who hold true to their standards.

If you begin to apply these principles, I truly believe you will start to have the healthy, mutually beneficial, & positive relationship you desire—and deserve.

Remember, getting the love you deserve always starts with you. Control the emotions, tap into the logic & date purposefully.

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